A friend of mine once spent Thanksgiving Day on the lonely side of rehab in a Waffle House, the only other customers two old ladies. I think my New Year’s Eve 2010 approached that same level or is at least straddling the fence between one arrow up or one arrow down. The celebration (in the bleakest sense of the word) wasn’t all bad, mind you. Let me tell you, and you decide up or down.
I cooked a good dinner, I grant you that. Then what? My husband and I each pulled out the movies we had and settled on The Kids Are All Right. The movie wasn't. The most ironic part came when two straight actresses portraying lesbian characters say what they hate about films portraying lesbian characters are when the actresses are straight.
Otherwise, the dialog consisted mostly of a few words repeated: "Wow" "Yeah...No...Yeah" "I understand" and "F--- you." Sex was gratuitous and involved females with females while watching two males having sex on TV or female-male sex while Mexican gardener is working below the bedroom. And one young girl who talked about sex all the time and one young boy who wanted to pee on a dog.
I cannot understand why a fine actress like Annette Benning took this job. She was marvelous in her part. I hated her as a person.
The script sucked. I truly can do better. I'm not just saying that. I can. How the hell did this get made? What needed to get resolved at the end was just dropped and continues to flap there in the breeze. A fake ending was attached and had nothing to do with the rest of the film. I asked my screenwriter friend to please promise me he will have nothing to do with anyone associated with this film. Unless they offer him lots of money. Of course.
Another irony is that my husband and I missed the ball dropping while engrossed in this shitty film. Now we have to wait another year when years are in short supply. We could find no good after-balldrop celebration on the entire offering from Dish Network. Not even Hardcore Abs on two separate channels enticed me. We did stop for 15 minutes to watch some really wonderful entertainment called "The 25 Christmases" on some channel I didn't memorize. Jack Benny was doing a routine showing how radio had been done. It was the old year bidding goodbye and giving advice to the new year. That's where I heard some good writing and saw some even better performing. We channel-flitted but found nothing good after that. The only good thing about our night was that I had two glasses of Prosecco tainted with a bit of Limoncello.
I ended the evening on a high note by going to bed to read about lepers in Moloka'i. I went to sleep and didn’t wake up until my husband was the groggy recipient of a phone call asking him for a search warrant. One of the county’s other two judges has not yet been sworn in and the other took off for tall timber this holiday weekend. Guess who got the fun stuff?
My friend Sharon said she fell asleep last night and woke up at 12:02 and then missed the Rose Parade by an hour this morning. I feel her pain. I forgot all about the Rose Parade, so blinded by the third straight day of sun here in the land of Wet and Drear. I watched another crappy Julianne Moore movie instead that was supposed to be a thriller but wasn’t.
I wonder if our “celebrations” signal some new turning in the aging process? I spent part of the first day of the New Year, 1/1/11, ironing and doing laundry. Should someone be feeling my head for a fever? Is this where joie de vivre takes me these days?
I have no answer. I do have one suggestion, however. I suggest you all start writing marvelous scripts. Obviously, Hollywood needs some. Happy New Year!